“It was the
worst of times. It was the best of times. It was the age of wisdom, it was the
age of foolishness… it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness,
it was it was the spring
of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had
nothing before us”
Charles
Dickens wrote this opening paragraph for his book “A Tale of Two Cities”
referring to the turmoil in London and Paris during the French Revolution but
for anyone working in an advertising agency, this paragraph aptly describes the
mood of our workplace during an agency pitch.
You see, a
pitch brief brings with it a complex tapestry of emotions. Hope and fear. Dread
and excitement. Liberation and restraint. Highs and lows. For me, these
dichotomous emotions are especially fresh right now because we are in the end
stages of a massive pitch which is due next week.
To
illustrate the drama that we live through when a pitch brief comes, I am going
to share some of my Facebook status updates and internal emails over the last
month.
August 4th
2015
From:
Planning Dept.
To: @creativeall,
Account Director
Subject:
XXXX PITCH!
Guys,
We have
received a pitch brief for XXXX brand.
The planning team is working on a basic strategic understanding and will
share the brief and way forward with you in 3 days time. Please do not come and
harass us before this. I know you all are excited and so are we. But let us
work it out.
August 4th 2015
From: Account Director
To: Planning Dept.
Subject:
RE:XXXX PITCH!Dear Planning Department,
Thanks for
the email. We have set up a time later today for you to take us through the
strategic framework. How does 4PM sound?
Cheers!
From:
Planning Dept
To: Account
Director
Subject: RE:RE:XXXX
PITCH!
Are you nuts? We asked for 3 days!
Aug 4th
2015.
From:
Account Director
To:
Planning Dept.
Subject: RE:RE:RE:XXXX
PITCH!
You owe me from the time I covered that focus group for you so you could go see “Bhajrangi Bhaijan.” The Creatives are ready to get started.
Pleeeeasse?
August 6th 2015
4PM
Facebook Status: I’m fairly certain Mick Jagger wrote “Satisfaction” about the day I’m currently having. Best brainstorm ever!”
Aug 6th 2015
9:30PM
Facebook Status: Still brainstorming. Hour 8. At least my lipstick is bringing out the red in my eyes.
August 9th
2015
11 AM
From:
Planning Department
To:
@agencyall
Subject:
Rotting Donuts on my desk
MY DESK HAS DONUTS LEFT ON THEM FROM LAST NIGHT AND I AM NOW THE NEWLY APPOINTED “LORD OF THE FLIES!” They are following me everywhere I go!
Aug 9th
2015
11:01 AM
From:
Account Director
To:
Planning Dept
Subject:
RE: Rotting Donuts on my desk
Want me to pull out the CCTV footage from last night? I bet it was (insert Junior Creative’s Name).
Aug 9th
2015
11:02 AM
From:
Planning Dept
To: Account
Director
Subject:
RE:RE: Rotting Donuts on my desk
Simmer down Hitler. It was just donuts not a Soviet threat. But since you now owe me one, can I get one of those electric fly swatter bats?
Aug 15th
5:46PM
FB Status: Out and about interviewing Target Audience at Dolmen Mall. Was called “Aunty” at least 147 times by aforementioned TG and have perfected my frozen “this does not bother me” smile. Am I an AUNTY!?
This status
is brought to you by the pint of Haagen Dazs I am currently drowning my sorrows
in to.
Aug 16th:
9:30 AM
FB Status: I feel a deep and enduring love for my creative team colleagues. We have worked non-stop, almost every day for the last 2 weeks and the work is looking AMAZING!! Shout out to my peeps!
10AM:
From:
Account Director
To:
@planningall @creativeall
Subject:
Concerns. Attention Needed.
Dear Planning and Creative,
I just saw
the last round of KV’s and I think the logo is too small. Can we somehow change
the copy to make the call to action first? Also please turn in your receipts
for dinner ordered last week? And no, I cannot have “a carton of cigarettes”
expensed!
Please
revert on the same. Thank you kindly.
Aug 17th
1PM
From:
Account Director
To:
@planningall @creativeall
Subject: Very
disappointed.
Whoever thought it was a nice idea to put David Hasslehoff’s half nude body as my screensaver right before my client presentation, I just want to reiterate that this is a professional atmosphere and such actions are strictly unprofessional. I am pulling out the CCTV footage to pinpoint the culprit.
Aug 17th
2:15PM
From:
Account Director
To:
@planningall @creativeall
Subject:
WHO TOOK MY CHAIR?
Aug 18th:
11AM
From: COO
To:
@planningall, @creativeall
Subject:
Conference Room. Now!
Teams,
We have had
an informal run through and I feel like we need to push ourselves harder! The
work is good but not up to the standard of excellence that this agency is
accustomed to delivering. Please gather for formal feedback in the conference
room at 11:30AM.
Aug 18th
12:14PM
Facebook Status: Here we go again! Look out ‘square one’ because we’re coming back to you!
Aug 19th:
4AM
Facebook Status: WORK ALLNIGHTER 2--- Driving away this morning I felt pangs of panic for my team members left at work. I could not shake the feeling that I should remember what they were wearing in case I need to describe them in detail to someone later on. Should I learn their heights?
Aug 20th
3:01 AM
Facebook Status: WORK ALLNIGHTER 3-- Still at work. I nearly tripped over in the hallway. A crease in the carpet. I know the work of a child ghost when I see it. Lack of sleep is a potent drug.
Aug
21st
2:15PM
From:
Account Director
To:
@planningall @creativeall
Subject:
Run Through
All,
The run
through was EXCEPTIONAL! COO loved all the work. Fabulous work guys. Almost at
the finish line.
PS. I
couldn’t help put notice that the logo wasn’t made bigger in the KV’s. And the
call to action wasn’t brought out first in the copy. Can you please revert on
the same? Thank you kindly.
August 27th
3PM
FB Status
Update: Has a spare minute. Finally! Time to write that blog…
